Can You Handle the Curves?
by 1000th Ghost
Summary: Vanellope is upgraded to an adult body, and with it comes sexual parts of an adult mind that basically make her want to constantly attack Ralph. Even though she has no idea what that means. VanellopexRalph


**Can You Handle the Curves?**

**By: 1000th Ghost**

_"Get you where you want to go, if you know what I mean._

_Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine._

_Can you handle the curves?"_

_-__Wreck-It Ralph__ ("Shut Up and Drive")_

"VANELLOPE!" Several candies with wings that he assumed were meant to be birds fluttered off in a panic. "Vanellope?" he tried, quieter. He didn't mean to be so loud; it was easy to forget how big, scary, and out-of-place he could be for a happy-sparkles-sunshine game like Sugar Rush. But Vanellope had told him to meet her here, next to her old Diet Cola Mountain home, and she was late, which probably meant she was planning a sneak attack of some kind that would nearly give him a heart attack.

"Hey, why are your hands so freakishly big?"

He smiled despite himself. Same old Vanellope. "Uh, I don't know, why are you so freakishly-" he turned towards the sound of her voice, "-hot!-" and fell backwards into the puddle of chocolate.

She kicked her legs back and forth, a triumphant, smug look on her face.

"I did _not_ say 'hot'." Great, she'd _never_ let him hear the end of this.

"Yes, you did!" she gloated. She bounced down from the branch she had been perched on, and he tried hard (well..."hard" might be an overstatement) to not notice how certain new parts of her bounced with her. "Isn't this _ridiculous_?!" She jumped into the chocolate puddle with him.

"W-when you said your game was getting an upgrade, I thought you meant more sprinkles on the racetrack or something!"

"Yeah, that's what I thought too!" She laughed uproariously. "Oh, man, just my luck, my Cute-Little-Chibi-Kid Japanese game gets turned into Sexy-Flirty-Anime-Chick Japanese game!"

He could not believe Vanellope had just used the word "sexy".

"So, what do you think?"

"Uh..."

He was mercifully saved from having to respond because she launched into an opinion for him.

"I mean, like I said, how ridiculous is this? Look at these things!" And she picked up one rather generously endowed (or "freakishly big", if he were to use her language) breast in each hand.

"Look at them...?" he blanched.

"Who do they think I am, Calhoun? And there is no position I can be in-" she demonstrated by posing and flipping wildly, "-that doesn't make my skirt too short and my underwear show! Geez, what kind of a message are they trying to send to kids?

"And the worst part is-" Suddenly her eyes got wide. "Oh, Ralph, oh, _crud_, you're going to hate me, I'm sorry, okay?, just..."

His heart skipped a beat, or maybe three, as she...did he dare to say "sauntered"? over to him and crawled into his lap, straddling his hips.

She dipped her head down to hide her face in shame, but then she was unexpectedly kissing his neck.

"Kid...what are you _doing_?" he groaned.

"I can't help it!" she panted against his skin. "They didn't just upgrade my body, they upgraded my mind. I'm not totally a 'kid' anymore, I don't think, I think they shoved adult stuff in there. Because all day I haven't been able to stop picturing you and me and...stuff."

"Stuff?" he repeated through the fog that had taken over his head.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she whispered. "I just know that I want you."

She was kissing him now, and maybe he shouldn't have been kissing her back, but he was and had no intention of stopping it.

She was the one who ended up stopping it. Her hips rolled up onto him, and she gasped and jerked her head back. She did the motion again, and this time her gasp ended in a small moan.

"You can keep going, you know," he said, his voice dark.

She started again, slowly increasing the speed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She was making continuous sounds now, and they were beginning to drive him crazy.

"_Ralph..._" she moaned, and her head tipped back slightly, and she had practically asked for this with all the attention she had drawn to them. He brought his hands up from where they had been resting carefully on her hips and started to knead her beasts.

Her new upgrade had miraculously included a zipper on her hoodie (of course, what was the point of a new body if there was not a way to show it off? thanks, pervert programmers), and he hadn't exactly meant to undo it, but his movements caused it to slip lower and lower anyway. Her heaving chest and moaning of his name and rocking hips all became too much, and he slid the zipper the rest of the way down. She helped him peel the sticky garment off, and it landed in the puddle with a soft plop.

"It's not ridiculous, kid," he murmured against her lips. "You're beautiful."

This statement seemed to be too much for _her_, for her insistent movements became even faster than before, and then she froze and glitched and gave a small scream that ended in opened-mouth silence and collapsed against him.

"Would it be entirely too forward if I said I loved you?" he asked the top of her head.

"You mean as a cute, little kid or as a sidekick or in a romantic-y, they-lived-happily-ever-after way?"

"Yes, yes, and yes," he said smiling.

She lifted her head and smiled back. "Well, I don't think it's too forward at all. And I'll say I love you too on one condition."

"Uh-oh," he groaned apprehensively. "What's that?"

"That you'll come help me clean all this chocolate off," she said seductively, leaning forward and licking his hips. Then she looked at him in dismay. "Oh, there I go again. You've got to forgive me, Ralph, I can't control this new code very well!"

He laughed and helped her stand shakily to her feet. "I love your new code," he said, handing her her hoodie.

"And I love you, Stinkbrain."

**The End**


End file.
